The 10 Commandments of the Social Dance Floor


Dance etiquette isn’t exactly rocket science, but a surprising number of dancers seem to have the memory of a starfish for it.

(Contrary to popular belief, goldfish do have a pretty decent memory, as proven by the Norse gods of myth busting. So if this article sucks, you can at least tell yourself you learnt something today. But I digress.)

Without further ado, here they are: the Jazz Monkey’s Ten Commandments of the social dance floor.

10- Thou shalt learn the rules

Every floor has its own set of rules.

"If it's your first night... You have to dance."

“If it’s your first night… You have to dance.”

Progressive dances – tango or fox-trot, for example – have what we call a line of dance which runs counter-clockwise around the edge of the floor – sometimes there’s even “lanes” for fast-moving and slow-moving couples. If you’re a Lindy Hopper amongst ballroom dancers, and a jazzy quickstep comes on, be sure to “make the Lindy” (as swing dancers say) in the middle of the floor, otherwise you’ll be unwittingly branded as the asshole who’s causing collisions all over the place like a coked-up Ferrari driver burning donuts in the middle of the freeway.

"Day 5 of our infiltration into a ballroom dancers herd: they still suspect nothing."

“Day 5 of our infiltration into a ballroom dancers herd: they still suspect nothing.”

Conversely, if you want to get your fox-trot on but everyone else dances swing, don’t be a cancerous dickhead: expect that you might not even have a line of dance. There’s other people around and they need space too.

West Coast Swing floors sometimes have a preferred direction for their slots, and just installing your fat ass at a perpendicular angle like a clueless dick will make people flip the fuck out and body-roll you off the floor like the miscreant that you are.

There are also subtle social rules everywhere. In some places for example, it’s almost inevitably the guys asking the girls to dance; in others, it’s considered impolite to only dance one song with someone.

In New Guinea, there is, uh, a very specific way to ask a lady to dance.

In New Guinea, there is a, uh, very specific way to ask a lady to dance.

And in pretty much all instances, it’s viewed as a Kanye-level rudeness to leave your partner like a prick in the middle of the floor while you go on the prowl looking for someone else. Especially for gents, it’s the norm to escort your partner back to where you started.

The ideal thing is to have a regular tell you about these codes of conduct. Barring that, try to observe and learn. You can choose to apply them or not, but at least you’ll have the option of consciously acting like a prick instead of being an ignorant one.

Speaking of ignorance…

9- Thou shalt apologize when bumping into a neighbor

A surprising number of people consider drunkenly crashing into another couple as just “par for the game”, and gleefully overlook a brush-up as some Matrix glitch that happened in another dimension.

"Well, he clearly was in my line of dance."

“Well, fuck him: he clearly was in my line of dance.”

Whether or not the other couple was in the wrong, it’s just good manners to say “Oops, sorry!” if you just ripped their scrotum in half with your 6-inch heel. Would you not apologize for bumping into someone on the subway? Do you feel so strongly about your floor space that you won’t even acknowledge the possibility that someone might have busted your imaginary bubble with no maligned intention? Do you go around flipping the bird like a crazy bag lady every time someone accidentally touches your forearm?

"Newsflash: you might be an entitled douche."

“Newsflash: you might be an entitled douche.”

Short of building a fence around you, there’s not much you can do to avoid hits: make them a little less unpleasant by at least being civil about them.

8- Thou shalt stow away your gadgetry

If this was an actual sin, Mephistopheles himself would have ripped dance floors apart all over the world, risen amongst flames and brimstone from his kingdom of despair to choke helpless nerds with his powerful, manly hands, and cast them down to Hell for an eternity of cleaning Adolf Hitler’s anal leakage.

I heard there's plenty to go around for everyone.

From what I’ve heard, there’s plenty to go around for everyone.

As I touched upon in another article, smartphones are just another way for your lazy, insecure ass to delay existing. How many times do you whip out your phone during a dance night to “just look at the time”, only to get sucked into your notifications, your emails, your text messages?

Or whatever it is you're into.

Or whatever it is you’re into.

Soon enough, dance events become this surreal thing where everyone sits around staring at bits of plastic, reading stuff about people who aren’t there. And someone occasionally gets up to dance.

It fucking sucks.

I got two words for you: embrace and engage. Embrace the situation, engage the people. Put your phone on vibrate – or, if you really feel freaky, plane mode – , and enjoy existing in that place, at that moment.

7- Thou shalt not use floor-altering substances

If you put wax under your shoes, or powder on the floor, you’re an egotistical fart stain in humanity’s underwear. I will find you, befriend you, introduce you to your future wife, be the best man at your wedding, put out good words to your boss, help you renovate your roof, cheer your shitty pitching at softball games, visit you with a case of beer in times of trouble, share your room at the nursing home… And one day you’re gonna wake up, open the curtains and I, your life-long best friend, will be eating your grand-children on the front lawn.

"Little Timmy here is great with BBQ sauce. No seriously. Have a bite."

“Little Timmy over here? GREAT with mesquite sauce. No seriously, have a bite.”

That’s how much I hate floor molesters.

All this stuff leaves residue – and taped-up soles are even worse: the tape rolls up, leaving sticky clumps of shit everywhere. People just minding their own business will at some point hit your fucking ice skating ring of a spot, or your gluey flytrap, fall on their asses and break something, and it’s going to be your goddamn fault. You’re robbing folks from their god-given right to not skate all over the fucking place like morons. Congratulations! You’ve become the Stalin of the floor.

"I mustache you to stop this nonsense."

“I mustache you to stop this nonsense.”

Don’t endanger those around you – especially your partners – by altering the fabric of reality. As Buddha said, “it is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles, so stop peeing on everyone’s bagels”.

Start adapting yourself instead: get better shoes, or, if you’re on a budget, get your shoes better – a shoemaker will put a suede or leather sole on your favorite pair of sneakers in no time. Adapt your dancing too: if you can’t slide, do something else.

6- Thou shalt actually ask for a dance

Don’t be that person:

"Gueeeeuweh?"

“Gueeeeuweh?”

I know of many reasons why you wouldn’t speak (loud music, congenital shyness, semen is blocking your airways), and none of them is a good enough excuse for you to look like an uncivilized caveman demanding some Doritos: a person deserves the genuine effort of a few words. Something as simple as “Wanna dance?” will entirely suffice.

And please, for the love of holy baby Jesus cooing in a manger, make sure a person actually wants to dance before just grabbing any random extremity and yanking them on to the floor.

"But it's MY SOOOONG!!!"

“Make dance with Grog! This Grog’s SOOOONG!!!”

Actually, you know what? If someone comes to you and extends their hand without saying a word, maybe they’re looking for something. Feel free to casually drop a pencil, an apple or twenty-five cents in their palm – anything short of your own feces… But only because I doubt you would just have them handy for such occasions.

5- Thou shalt be properly groomed

We hear this one a lot but it’s still, like, so lacking.

"It's like, each and everyone of you is a pretty unique snowflake, man. And that super nice, groovy snowflake, man... We don't wanna sniff its smelly buttcrack."

“It’s like, you’re a beautiful snowflake, dude. Like, unique in its shape, man. And that super nice, groovy snowflake, man… No one wants to smell its stinky butt crack.”

Personal hygiene varies wildly from person to person, but trust me: you’re better off assuming you smell like a skunk’s bleeding anus after a night of hockey, tacos and binge drinking because, even though your brain knows your odor, your nose itself is not exactly the best judge of what is pleasant to others. You could be cruising around thinking you’re a handsomely fragranced flower for a long while before some dude tells you your breath reminds him of how he spent his childhood locked in a funeral house’s basement. And then he’ll start sobbing uncontrollably. Do you want to be there when that happens?

Of course you don’t.

Shower, put on deodorant, bring a few t-shirts, brush your teeth, bring a towel or twelve, carry mints or gum…

...Don't overindulge in the brand-new "Satan's Gingivitis" tequila shots at the bar

…Don’t overindulge in those brand-new “Satan’s Rotten Gingivitis” tequila shots at the bar.

Everyone sweats, don’t be embarrassed: just make sure you don’t ensconce your partners in it. Which reminds me: No fucking tank tops or wifebeaters. For leaders, it’s unpleasant to clumsily navigate around a follower’s sweaty armpits; for followers, it’s equally distressing to have to touch a lead’s hairy, moist, pasty-white excuse of a bicep.

...

Okay FINE. Girls can wear tank tops, but I stand by it for the guys.

...

Ah, fuck it.

4- Thou shalt not give lessons on the social floor

There are few things more cringe-worthy than seeing someone “teaching” smack dab in the middle of the dance floor. “Teaching” during a social dance is like an octopus with a monocle on a bus ride to Detroit: it just doesn’t belong there.

Unless you're going to watch a Red Wings playoff game. Then sure, get your Doc Ock on.

Unless you’re going to watch a Red Wings playoff game. Then sure, get your Doc Ock on.

For one, the teaching…

...I'm sorry. The "teaching"...

…I’m sorry. The “teaching”…

…is most of the times inaccurate, awkward and uncalled for.

Unless the person specifically asked you, there is absolutely zero fucking chance in Valhalla’s celestial Port-A-Potty that you’ll “offer advice” and not look like a pus-leaking testicular wart – if not to your future “student”, then sure as fuck to the other dancers. Fascinating statistic that I in no way pulled out of my ass: 63% of all the slow, discouraged head-shaking done at dance events is a direct consequence of witnessing “teaching” on the dance floor.

Another 22% is a consequence of realizing you'll never be able to do your hair like Jo Hoffberg.

Another solid 24% is people realizing they’ll never be able to do their hair like Jo Hoffberg.

If the conditions of the person asking for advice and you wanting to “teach” them are somehow miraculously met, please proceed off the floor.

Because it’s a dance floor.

Not a “teach” floor.

3- Thou shalt freestyle appropriately

It’s already pretty terrorizing to dance with an advanced lead or follow. If you’re with someone below your level and go out there hell-bent on cramming your thirty-six footwork variations in one song, don’t ask why your partner sports the expression of someone zipping through a 10-loop roller coaster with a malfunctioning belt and a belly full of expired Hamburger Helper.

"Just sixteen more bars and I'll be right back with ya."

“Just sixteen more bars and I’ll be right back with ya.”

I’m not saying you should dance the Zombie Hop and go through the same three moves over and over again, but try to meet your partner in between. Dancing with someone implies having fun with them: not “despite” them.

It goes for beginners too: styling absolutely has its place on the dance floor, regardless of your level – and trying is the first step towards succeeding… But not at the expense of partnership or basic safety.

"We shall keep our triples close, and our rock-steps closer."

“We shall keep our triples close, and our rock-steps closer.”

So focusing on your partnership, instead of where to plug that cool move you just learnt in a workshop, can totally make a difference between a boring dance and a great one.

2- Thou shalt be truthful (more or less)

If someone asks you for a dance, and you answer “sure thing, but later” while absolutely not meaning it, guess what you won?

"You win the douchebag contest!"

“The Douchebag Award! Again!”

Believe it or not, a simple “no, thank you” accompanied by a genuine smile is sufficient. Contrarily to a common notion, no one is entitled to detailed information about your reasons – who wants to hear about someone’s impending explosive diarrhea?

Honesty is not always the best policy.

Hence the following job interview joke: "What is your worst flaw? - Honesty. - I don't think that's a flaw. - I don't give a fuck what you think."

Hence the following job interview joke: “What is your worst flaw? – Honesty. – I don’t think that’s a flaw. – I don’t give a fuck what you think.”

I know a popular advice is “you should always, always, always say not now, but I’ll catch you later, and then remember to go back to the person and ask them to dance. Teehee!”

I only have one answer to that: This is not My Fucking Little Pony here.

Although, sadly, I'm 100% certain a show named "My Fucking Little Pony" is a thing on the Internet.

Sadly, I’m 100% certain a show named “My Fucking Little Pony” is a thing on the Internet. I also realize this is my second cartoon porn joke in this article. We all have to live with that.

While in an ideal world of public park-prancing unicorns singing the entire Queen repertoire and fluffy kittens farting cures for cancer we would all be getting along, the harsh reality is that some people won’t want to interact with certain people. And they shouldn’t have to be crucified for it: just because someone shares a hobby with you doesn’t mean you want to hold their hand.

Now, it’s great if you feel the magic of community building vibrate in your very being – and, if you’re a teacher, inviting tons of people to dance is a sacred part of your job. It’s also true that if everyone danced with everyone, holy shit, jubilation-boners would pop up far and wide. But not everyone is built from that sacred firewood, and not everyone should be expected to always dance with whoever asks them. Just be marginally honest about it – starting with being honest with yourself – and stop making it so fucking awkward out there.

On the other hand, if you’re on the receiving end of a refusal, accept it gracefully; and if it’s something that you feel happens suspiciously often, ask yourself if you’re not breaking the first Commandment of them all…

1- Thou shalt not be a fucking creeper

The world is full of creeps. Agressive creeps, leering creeps, touchy-feely creeps…

That soulless, snide, despicable ratassfucker.

That soulless, snide, despicable carcass sodomizer.

One popular complaint about creepers is that they have wandering hands and, seriously, fucking ew. It’s not “flirting” if you’re rubbing your filthy parts all over an unwilling person: it’s fucking harrasment, you dumbass. Other creeptitudes include ogling; monopolizing someone’s attention; giving unwanted surprise massages; wearing masks made from the skins of your enemies.

All dance scenes have a creeper (mostly dudes, but chicks are not immune to it either), so check yourself: do you often find people desperately looking around for a diversion when you’ve been talking about your love of roadkill taxidermy for 15 minutes? Do they mysteriously flock to the bar as you start ostensibly looking around for a partner? Most importantly, did you read the first sentence of this paragraph and thought “Ah! That’s not true: my scene doesn’t have a creep” ?

In a pre-Signs Shyamalanesque twist, this might mean you are the creep.

And while every scene should totally have a Clint Eastwood clone to handle those delicate situations with intelligence and sensibility…

Or even the real Clint. It would beat his talking-to-empty-chairs gig, for one.

Or even the real Clint. It would beat his talking-to-empty-chairs gig, for one.

…the truth is dancers are usually too mild-mannered to let the creepers know about their behaviour, resorting instead to burrow everyone in a grotesque passive-agressive vicious cycle of isolating an individual who has, more often than not, no idea what’s wrong.

Those who simply don’t know can thankfully be cured by information, but then there’s the A-type creepers: they know their attitude is inappropriate, but don’t give a drunken, half-hearted, shitty local punk concert bathroom finger fuck about it.

“People should like me for who I am”, they say.

Let’s address these peeps for a brief moment.

I’m sorry, are you the long-lost prince of the Assfartian empire? Fuck. This. Shit. It might come as a shock but the world doesn’t owe you anything just for existing: you have to contribute to the world to be a part of it. The sooner you realize this, the better your life will be – and not only on the dance floor. If “being who you are” makes people uncomfortable and empties the room quicker than you can say “aw man this fucking asshole’s here again” then, you know, maybe it’s just not worth it.

Please tell me you can do better than this.

You can do better than this.

There is such a thing as becoming an awesome person; there is such a thing as blossoming into an improved you: don’t give up on yourself. Don’t be content with mediocrity. Think of it as moving out of your shitty spider-infested swamp hut and in a nice, clean, almost spider-free apartment. Also that apartment contains the supermodel/actor of your fancy.

My personal choice?

I’m glad you asked, Rhetorical Internet Interlocutor: it would be Benedict Cumberbatch, of course. I can’t resist his charisma, his accent, or the cute way his nose wrinkles slightly when he smiles. And those dimples! Who wouldn’t want to spend their days gently licking those dimples?

*sigh*

*sigh*

…Alright… Um… I guess that was pretty creepy.

(Note: At a reader’s request, the 10 Commandments are now also available sans swearing in the PG Version, where all swear words have been replaced with “boink”.)

___________________________

When not fancying himself in a bitching red robe flowing in the wind and a foot-long wizard beard, Zack can be found at Swing ConneXion.

All true fans should also check out the actual stone tablet of the 10 Commandments of the Dance Floor:

____________________________

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6 Well Known Diseases That Are Plaguing Today’s Dancers

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About Zack

The Jazz Monkey View all posts by Zack

47 responses to “The 10 Commandments of the Social Dance Floor

  • Frank Adornato

    Haha, I think I am the douchebag, I require all prospective dancers to acknowledge my presence before they whisk off my partner for a couple of dances.

  • lindyhopeful

    Reblogged this on lindyhopes and commented:
    I had written a post on social dancing etiquette and thought I had published it, but it seems to have disappeared into the ether… =( Instead, here is another blog post which I think sums it up quite well and covers most of what I wrote, though in a different style.

  • dancer

    While I agree with all the main points, I have to say: this was very hard to read, due to analogy overload. Didn’t appreciate most of the swear words either… Hardly promotes a sociable dance floor.
    I guess one has to try to be original, what with all the other hundreds of articles published on the matter.
    There were some funny lines in there, so all is not lost.

  • Why You Should Start Dancing Right Now | The Jazz Monkey

    […] you’re taking a class or going out social dancing, there are several, sometimes unspoken rules held by general […]

  • The Dancing Irishman

    Brilliant article. Dancing and swearing combined. More of that please!

  • Tom Hogan

    What’s to be done in a situation which commonly occurs in studio open dances where people come as singles? The sex ratio leaves about one of one sex to two of the other. So, should there be a rule of etiquette to handle that situation?

    • Tom Hogan

      Oh, I left out a description of the problem. Either half the men or half the women get to dance very little and the other half get to dance a lot.

      • Zack

        That depends on if someone wants to be a “nice” person or not. I say when you go out to dance and have fun, you don’t “have” a responsibility towards anyone else’s fun. If you’re a teacher, sure, it’s your duty to not only make it so that everyone has fun, and to make sure your students are aware of that imbalance. Everyone should, in theory, be sensible to that problem, but I wouldn’t consider it “rude” if for a reason or another a few couples like to dance between themselves. You don’t owe anyone anything – unless you want to actively participate in the growth and well-being of your local dance scene which is an entirely different story.

        Long story short: not a question of etiquette in my opinion, but a very valid point indeed.

      • Tom Hogan

        You raise an interesting question, Zack. My reply is that if the Golden Rule isn’t part of etiquette, then I’m not sure what etiquette means.

        Certainly, the studio can make it part of the studio’s etiquette. Otherwise, the studio is the entity most likely to suffer if people stop going there as singles if they can’t dance. It would be up to the instructor to set the ground rules of the dance.

        In ice dancing, ladies are flighted, meaning that they can only skate every other time. I guess that the dance instructor could do the same thing with the men if there is an abundance of men and with the women if there is an abundance of women. I think that this should be part of standard dance etiquette anytime that a significant imbalance of the sexes occurs, such as when a studio lets people go as singles to a dance.

      • Zack

        I personally am wary of telling people what to do in a social setting, but if the rules are upfront – particularly in a dance studio setting, which is very different from say a dance night in a bar – , I don’t see any problem with it. You could totally set up a practice night and say “these are the rules, etc.” It really depends on what you want to do as an instructor. I certainly do that during supervized practices, although you also have to respect the couple who, for example, do that as a romantic activity and don’t necessarily feel like dancing with a bunch of people.

      • Tom Hogan

        So, what is etiquette about if not about caring for other people in practical ways? If we follow the Walmart philosophy that my fun is paramount, then don’t we just ignore all the points you raised in your OP?

        For a counterpoint to the Walmart philosophy of “my fun is paramount,” check out http://sethadamsmith.com/2013/11/02/marriage-isnt-for-you/

        Thanks for engaging my points, JM. Our discussion raised a new question for me. What is etiquette to you?

      • Zack

        And thanks to you 🙂

        I read this article (“Marriage Isn’t For You”) and it didn’t sound very healthy to me. This whole “you should live for the other person’s happiness” thing is totally insane – you can’t “make” people happy. You can’t hold yourself responsible for someone’s happiness or unhappiness – unless you’re being an actively giant douchebag, but then again, these are not the type of people who would lend themselves to the game of self-introspection. You have to strive to be the best person that you can be, be kind, be generous, yes, absolutely. But marrying to make others happy is, for lack of a better word, bollocks.

        Nor do I embrace the “my fun is paramount” point of view. I think there are a lot of really hard things you have to do to be genuinely happy. For a lot of people it means battling with their fears and it is neither fun or easy.

        When I talk to other people about etiquette, I try to weave old school thinking (“etiquette is about others”) with the philosophy that, if we force people to do something, they won’t want to do it and they’ll feel guilty of not doing it, creating a vicious cycle that will eventually lead them to just stop dancing. Who wants to be at a dance where, say follows outnumber leads, EVERYONE expects and demands that you dance twice as much with twice as many people? Etiquette is, as everything today, very personal. If you feel it’s your personal mission that everyone dances and has a good time, that’s awesome and I totally encourage that. Would I demand it from you and create rules to that effect? Absolutely not.

  • 6 Realizations Everyone Needs to Make About Event Organizers | The Jazz Monkey

    […] a life tip: you shouldn’t trust the ability to nuance of a website theorizing that Satan would make abusive cellphone users wash a deceased dictator’s dripping dunghole in Hell, and y’all should take everything in these here parts with several truckloads of salt. Having […]

  • Winnipeg

    Reblogged this on Swing Long and Prosper and commented:
    If I blog for 100 years, I hope to one day write something as awesome as this

  • Aquaman

    As someone really new to dancing this article leaves me feeling like I won’t even bother going to a social dance. Sounds like everyone is one step away from being labeled a douchebag.

    • Zack

      I’m sorry to hear that! Obviously, there’s a lot of heavy, hyperboled humor on that site, and some of us are a bit sensitive about that (if you think that all cell phone users should go to hell and wipe Hitler’s ass… I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve been known to abuse my cellphone on dance nights too!). The frightening truth is that in every walk of life (whether at work, with your family, with friends), you’re always one step away from being labeled a douchebag. It’s so much easier for people to latch on to the negative stuff; I’m just trying to give you a hand up, here. You might as well get used to the idea of being judged and become the best person you can be, because it will follow you all your life, in all your endeavours – personal, professional, romantic, familial… Only after trying your goddamn best can you say “I was the best I could be; I guess I just don’t belong there.”

      THAT’s what the article is all about.

      This said, the dance world is generally very welcoming and forgiving (at least where I come from), always ready to help you out in times of trouble. I hope you enjoy your future dances!

  • Marilyn

    Any thoughts on how to ask a woman to dance if she looks like she’s there with someone… my bf (non-dancer) gets all butt hurt when I get asked to dance and they don’t ask him first if they can dance with me….. I’ve been dancing with these guys for years so I think it’s no big deal…

    • Zack

      It depends on the scene – in some, it might be viewed as impolite to ask a lady to dance without first asking her date (which is a bit of a “dated” concept in my opinion, but some scenes do work like that and it’s fine). If that’s not the case in YOUR scene though, sounds like your boyfriend needs to adjust HIS expectations.

      Otherwise it’s like being offended when others don’t drink only bubbly water – you may be right in your taste or your culture, but you’re the one who’s out of place. Si fueris Romae, and so forth.

  • byronalley

    Great points. And as I wrote on FB…

    if Lindy Hoppers paid more attention to the slot when doing “fake WCS” or “screw it, I’ll just swing out to this” coast swing, it would definitely improve the Lindy/Westie relationship.

    On the line of dance bit I’d counter that if it’s a Lindy event and you’re the ONLY couple on the floor doing Foxtrot, Quickstep, or Peabody, then it’s your responsibility not to smash into the rest of the room like a crack-addled bulldozer. It’s one thing to swing out with floor craft and recognize line of dance, but it’s not realistic to assume that Lindy Hoppers will spend every dance wondering if someone is suddenly going to break out into ballroom dancing. Yet somehow I’ve seen a number of people at Lindy events go barreling along the perimeter of the dance floor, as though the couples on the outside of the dance floor were the ones in breach of etiquette.

    • Zack

      Absolutely. It was SO true I added a little note in the article:

      “Conversely, if you want to get your fox-trot on but everyone else dances swing, don’t be a cancerous dickhead: expect that you might not even have a line of dance. There’s other people around and they need space too.”

      This is some interactive shit right there.

  • Rachel Woods

    My dad taught me some dancing when I was growing up. We couldn’t afford dance classes so I took what I could get. And I love dancing I have a lot of natural ability and would love to further it…
    But this article just makes me never want to set foot in a dance again. And I’m talking the same language… ceroc, swing, fox trot, waltz, etc. I know what a dance is.
    This article is just really negative and mean. I understand wanting to be ironic and humorous, but this is just a mean hearted article that really has good points but they are so judgemental and off putting.
    I mean, as someone who would like to attend dances, to think that every more experienced dancer out there is going to be thinking I’m an asshole because I haven’t danced In a long time is intimidating and mean hearted.

    • Zack

      I can totally see how someone could see it that way. However I’m curious as to where specifically in this article it says experienced dancers will think you’re an asshole if you haven’t danced in a long time. Sounds like something you fear might happen and your mind just put it in there.

      In any case, there’s a lot of great and helpful dancers out there, advanced or not. Don’t worry about those who think you’re an asshole if you haven’t practiced: they’re the assholes.

  • Karen Flowers

    Actually Daniele, He is spot on, although maybe a little wordy 🙂

  • Ethel

    Mostly well put. However, I would respectively request the removal of using G-d and Jesus as swear words, as it IS down right disrespectively. Using my Lord’s names as your swear words of choice just let your whole article bite the dust for me! I cannot recommend it although I would have if it was cleaner or cleaned up.

    It would be wonderful if you could also remove every form of swearing and see what creative way that it could be replace with… You’re intelligent. Sure that could be very easy to do.

  • Daniele Dave Drammauta

    I am sorry, the dance floor is no place for your sad self. Please proceed to line dancing or “clubbing” activities. You got everything kinda wrong. Sorry.

  • loulou

    Dead-on article. Missing one, however: escort your partner back to where you found him/her, don’t just abandon ’em in the middle of the floor while you run off to catch your next partner.

    • Zack

      Absolutely! I’ll add that somewhere!

    • Site Admin

      Perfect article to teach people manners 🙂

    • JilllRiver

      Great post!

      How about:
      “And in pretty much all instances, it’s viewed as a Kanye-level rudeness to leave your partner like a prick in the middle of the floor while you go on the prowl looking for someone else. Especially for gents, it’s the norm to escort your partner back to where you started.”

      It did not rate its own Commandment, but was used, exquisitely, as an example in the 10th Commandment.

    • JilllRiver

      Oops! Hit “thumbs up” thinking I could see who has responded. Can it be removed?

  • Apache

    Also +10 internet points for a Minecraft reference!

  • SummerSolsticeGirl

    Dude! + 10 internet points for managing to include Benedict Cumberbatch in your post!

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